Never Thought
by Vicky Ocean
Summary: Poe and Rey discover they have more things in common than they ever realized. Episode VII Spoliers.
1. Chapter 1

_So will I suffer_  
 _Or will I be alright_  
 _I look up into the stars,_  
 _Then look down to count my scars,_  
 _And I know mercy_

 _ **Never Thought** \- Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers_

* * *

Poe walked into the intensive care area of the infirmary with BB-8 close at his heels. It had been his first stop after reporting in to the General and the command staff. Even though he had stowed his life support gear he was still in his flight suit. The medic that had directed him here had said they were hopeful of Finn's recovery but it was still touch and go. He stood for a moment watching his new friend floating in the bacta tank taking stock of the visible wounds. Not least of which was a horrible looking burn to his shoulder that almost looked like a blaster wound.

Having been informed of Finn's lightsaber wound, Poe was unable to curb his somewhat morbid curiosity and he walked around to the back of the tank to examine the gash that went most of the way down Finn's back. The edges of the skin appeared almost cauterized."Kriff," he muttered. Despite his long military career, it was one of the most disturbing wounds he'd ever seen.

BB-8 beeped and Poe walked back around and for the first time noticed the girl that Finn had gone to rescue curled up tightly in a chair fast asleep. BB-8 started rolling toward her. "Let her sleep," Poe told the droid and he warbled back at Poe. Yeah, he imagined it might be overly chilly in here for someone who was from a desert planet. He went over to a stack of thermal blankets that were waiting to be packed away for the evacuation and grabbed one. He gently laid it over the sleeping figure before seating himself in the other chair.

Despite his utter exhaustion, he was still too keyed up from the battle to sit still for long. His eyes wandered about the room until they lit on a stack of clothes. He saw his old flight jacket on the top. He went over and picked it up. It was nearly bisected completely in half, the nerf hide leather singed where the lightsaber and cut it. "Kriff," he muttered again unable to believe Finn had actually survived that.

Poe started rifling through the pockets. There was the Old Republic credit chip his first wingman had given him for luck. He tucked it into one of the pockets of his flightsuit along with the half of a pack of stim pills he also found. He suspected there'd be a lot of long hauls in the immediate future he'd need those for. In another pocket, he found a couple of pieces of shuura flavored candies.

BB-8 twittered at him and he looked over to see the girl's dark eyes trained on him. The intensity of the look almost unnerved him, so he did what always did, deflected with humor. He held up the jacket. "Can you believe this? Lend a guy your jacket and it comes back like this."

"You're the best pilot in the galaxy," she said, her voice a little rough from sleep.

He gave a startled laugh. "What?"

She cleared her throat. "That's what Beebee-Ate told me on Jakku. He said his master was the best pilot in the galaxy."

"Well, Beebee-Ate is probably a little biased. Best pilot in the Resistance maybe, but probably not the galaxy." He tossed the jacket back down on the pile of ruined clothes and walked over to her. "I don't think we've been formally introduced yet. Poe Dameron." He held out his hand and she stared at it for such a long moment that he had the urge to withdraw it and shove it in his pocket.

But her hand finally snaked out from the blanket and she grasped his hand. "Rey," she said offering him a small smile.

She had a nice firm handshake. He liked that.

"Thanks for taking care of Beebee-Ate for me. I don't know what I would do without him."

"He's a good droid."

"The best," Poe agreed and BB-8 trilled happily. "Mind if I join you?" he gestured to the other chair.

She shook her head and he sat down again. They both watched Finn floating in the bacta.

"Has there been any updates on his condition?"

"When I came in, the medic said they were hopeful but it depended on how he responds to the bacta treatment. They don't exactly have a lot of experience with lightsaber wounds."

"I suppose not." Rey sighed. "At least they have bacta to treat him with."

They sat there in silence for a long while, both lost in their own thoughts. After a while Poe dug into his pocket for the candy. He held a piece out to Rey. "Candy?" he offered.

"Candy?" she asked as if it was some sort of alien word.

"Shuura flavored."

She took the piece and stared at it strangely before taking off the red foil wrapper. She placed it tentatively in her mouth, then she broke out into a smile. He couldn't help but note that she had a lovely smile. "It's good." She sounded surprised and he supposed someone who survived as a scavenger in a Outer Rim sandpit like Jakku didn't have much access to little luxuries like candy.

"It's my favorite," he told her. "Here, have another piece." He handed her the last piece.

"Thank you."

He tried to not watch her as she savored the candy. It made him more than a little sad that such a small thing as a couple of pieces of candy should make her so seemingly happy.

Rey straightened up in her chair, but still kept the blanket wrapped around her. She turned to him. "Who do you think is the best pilot in the galaxy?"

"Well..." he said considering, it sort of depended on what kind of ship you were talking about.

"Han Solo?"

"Probably. Solo was definitely a legend."

"Was..." she whispered and a shadow of grief passed over her face and she turned her face away from him.

"I'm sorry."

She turned back to him, her face now schooled into a blank mask. "Did you know him?"

"No. He and General Organa were already separated before I joined the Resistance. My dad used to talk about him though. He knew him during the war."

"Was Han really was a general in the Rebellion?"

Poe nodded. "My dad was part of Solo's strike team during the Battle of Endor."

"I wish I had gotten the chance to know him better."

He didn't really know how to comfort her in her grief or if she would even let him. Instead he took up their former subject. "Y'know, if we're talking about starfighters, I'd definitely put my credits on Wedge Antilles as the best starfighter pilot in the galaxy."

Some of the sadness left her expression as he eyes lit up with interest. "Wedge Antilles? Who's that?"

"Who's that?" he feigned disbelief. "He's the only pilot to survive both Death Star runs, that's who."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And he formed Rogue Squadron with Luke Skywalker after the Battle of Yavin. He was my instructor when I was at the Republic Military Academy. He was really something. A real hotshot, but not cocky."

"Unlike yourself?" she teased.

He grinned at her and agreed, "Unlike myself. He also said that would get me in trouble. And he was right, quite a few times over."

"I'd like to meet him. Is he part of the Resistance?"

"Not officially, but he's been known to help out on occasion." And they may now need the help of all of their old friends now. "He's been retired a while on Corellia."

"I've always wanted to go to the shipyards on Corellia. They make excellent ships."

Poe couldn't help but laugh. She definitely had flying in her blood. "They do indeed. When this whole situation settles down, I'll take you to visit General Antilles and I'm sure he could arrange for you to check out the shipyards." He shocked himself with the offer. He was definitely getting a little punchy with exhaustion. He decided to shift the conversation. "Beebee-Ate says you're a pretty hot pilot yourself."

Rey looked a little embarrassed. "I don't-"

"Excuse me."

They looked up at a medic that just came in.

"I'm sorry, Commander, but I'll have to ask you to leave for a couple of hours. We're about to take Finn out of the bacta and run some tests to see how he's progressing.."

"You'll inform me of his status?" His tone indicating that wasn't really a request but an order.

"Yes, sir."

Rey rose to her feet and followed him out, wrapping the blanket around herself like a cloak.

"You hungry?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Yeah, me neither." He wondered what to do with her. They were a little short on guest quarters, especially now that they're packing up the base. Then a thought struck him. "You know what I bet you'd like? A hydro-shower."

"A hydro-shower? With water?"

"With all the water you can use."

"That would be wonderful." She smiled broadly at the thought.

Instead of taking her to the communal showers, he took her to his personal quarters. She'd have more privacy there and she might be able to get some rest too. The lights came on when they entered. "After your shower, you can crash here and and get some sleep until they allow visitors again."

He didn't even know if she heard him. She seemed transfixed by the hologram on his nightstand of the waterfall that was near his family's ranch. "Where is that?"

"Yavin IV. It's near where I grew up. It was the place I would go to when I was hiding out from chores or just needed a place to think."

"You grew up in a jungle?"

"Pretty much."

"It's so beautiful." she reached out toward the hologram as if she could dip her fingers in the water. "Such color."

"It wasn't a bad place to grow up. In the middle of nowhere, but not bad."

"I know a lot about the middle of nowhere."

"Yeah, you probably do," He conceded. "The refresher's through that door. There should be clean towels in there. I'll get you a shirt to sleep in and see if I can borrow some clean clothes for you." He eyed her. "Kare's about your size."

"Why are you doing all this for me?"

He could feel her eyes on him, almost penetrating into him. He couldn't really blame her suspiciousness. They were strangers after all and he had taken her back to his quarters and suggested a shower. Hell, he'd be suspicious too. "I don't expect anything from you, Rey. I owe you. I owe you a lot. You save Beebee-Ate and you completed my mission for me. A shower and a place to crash is the least I can do."

She seemed satisfied. "Thank you."

"No problem. I'll let you know when I have some news on Finn."

TBC

* * *

A/N- I'm not quite sure where I'm going to with this, but I really wanted to have Poe and Rey interact.


	2. Chapter 2

Poe found Karè Kun in the hanger overseeing repairs to the squadron's X-Wings.

"Hey, Karè, I need a favor."

"Sure. What's up?" She walked from behind the fighter she was inspecting.

"Can I borrow some of your clothes?"

She raised an eyebrow. Then her eyes raked up and down his body accessing him in a way that would have made him uncomfortable if he hadn't known Karè for so many years. "Well, Poe, we're not exactly the same size, but..."

Poe rolled his eyes. "Not for me. For Rey. She's about the same size as you."

"The scavenger girl?"

"Yes. She doesn't have anything other than what she was wearing."

"Okay. Hey, Arate," she called to her astromech and the R8 unit rolled over to her. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Start working on repulsors."

Poe followed Karè back to her quarters. She had already started packing up her belongings for the evacuation. She reached into one of the bags and pulled out a pair of serviceable black pants. She dug around a bit and started to pull out a cream colored shirt. Poe reached around her and grabbed one woven in a swirling blue and green pattern. "What about this one?"

She tugged it out of his hand. "That's one of my favorite shirts. Besides, what do you care what she wears?"

"I think she would like the colors." He knew she would after the way she had reacted to his hologram. He couldn't imagine having to have spent his life on a dull colorless rock like Jakku. "C'mon, Karè, she's a poor orphan girl." He gave his friend his most charming smile.

But she knew his tricks too well to be moved. "That's no orphan girl. She's got people. Important people."

"Well, those important people seemed to have abandoned her on that hellhole, so I'd say they're not worth much." It made him angry just thinking about it.

"Oh, no," Karè gasped, suddenly sitting on her bed as if her legs would no longer hold her.

"What? Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

"Don't do this again, Poe. You know it never works out well."

Poe rubbed his forehead. He was beyond exhausted and his conversation was giving him a headache. "What are you even talking about, Karè?"

She stood up."I know that look in your eye, Poe Dameron." She prodded him in his chest with her finger and he took a step back. "You're taking this girl on as one of your little projects. She's a woman, not just some stray animal that you can patch up and feed and then release back into the wild."

"I know that."

"Do you? Didn't you know that about Leeja? How about Fahra?"

"Rey is nothing like them," he retorted. "She saved Beebee-Ate and made sure that the information he carried got back to the Resistance. I owe her."

"Okay. I get that. But don't get too close," she warned. "That girl is dangerous. You know that masked freak is going to be after her now. You've already tangled with him once. He will take you apart next time and make sure you suffer, especially if you get between him and that girl."

"I know. I know." He did. He knew better than anyone what Kylo Ren was capable of. That mask had haunted his dreams since.

Karè's expression softened and she reached out and squeezed his arm affectionately. "I'm just worried about you, Poe. You've been through hell lately. We need Black Leader for what's coming. I need to know you're on my wing. Being mixed up with Jedi doesn't exactly do good for your lifespan. Look at Solo."

"Yeah," he paused wondering if he should even be discussing it, but the thought was nagging him and he trusted Karè. "Do you think Rey's Skywalker's kid?"

"Makes sense. That would explain some things. Jakku is certainly the kind of place to hide someone you don't want to be found." Her expression turned stern again. "If Skywalker is her father that's even more reason for you not to get involved with her."

He sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair tiredly."I'm not looking to get involved with anyone, Karè. I've got a war to fight."

"Don't forget that," she told him, before giving him a knowing smile. "I know it's hard to do when you're someone who has a chivalrous streak ten lightyears wide." She handed him the shirt. "Here. Don't say I never did anything for an abandoned Jedi."

"Thanks," he smiled at her. "I owe you."

"Just remember what I said and don't get yourself killed and we'll call it even."

* * *

Rey felt as if she could have stood under the spray of warm water for the rest of her life and have been perfectly content. She couldn't remember a time when she had access to more water than was strictly necessary for survival. There was soap and shampoo on a little shelf in the tiny shower stall so she used them. She liked the fragrance of both, clean smelling but with a hint of some exotic spicy scent.

She ended up scrubbing her skin until it was nearly raw. She couldn't remember the last time she had been truly clean. It felt like she washed her hair a thousand times before it was completely free of grit. She felt a little guilty when she realized she'd used most of the shampoo that was in the bottle, but she couldn't deny how great it felt to be completely free of the sand and grime for once.

She could only force herself to leave the shower when she felt too tired to stand any longer. She dried off and wrapped a towel around herself. She tentatively peeked out into his bedroom, but Poe wasn't there. BB-8 beeped a greeting from his charging station in the corner. She saw there was a set of clothes neatly laid out over the single chair in the room. She went over and touched the shirt on the top. The silky fabric was a wonderful swirling blue and green design. It was the most beautiful garment she had ever seen. Whoever owned it was very lucky.

She went over to the narrow bed against the wall and saw a much larger shirt laid out there. It was a deep forest green and she could imagine how well it likely looked on Poe with his tan skin and dark hair and eyes. She pulled it over her head and it felt almost sinfully soft against her newly clean skin.

She was ashamed that the the feeling made her tear up. Comfort had never been part of her life and this stranger gave so freely of his own comforts, his candy, his clothes, his water, and even his bed. On Jakku all anyone cared about was their own survival or what they take from someone else.

A twitter of concern came from BB-8.

"I'm okay. I'm just tired." So tired. She hadn't realize how tired she was of scraping by and waiting and endlessly waiting until she had a moment to think about anything other than just survival.

She pulled the covers back and slid into the bed. A sigh escaped her at the feeling of the soft mattress and pillow conforming to her body. She lay so she could look at the hologram of the waterfall and jungle. What would it have been like to grow up in such a place? It may have been in the middle of nowhere to a man of the galaxy like Poe, but it looked just like heaven to her.

That night for the first time her dreams were filled with color. And a man with dark laughing eyes.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Thank you all so much for reading and leaving such amazing reviews! I really appreciate it. I've had houseguests for the New Year so I'm delayed in replying and completing this part. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Poe hated that they made him scream. Intellectually, he knew it was nothing to be ashamed of after what they had done to him, but still...

He tried so hard to remain defiant, but here was that Vader wannabe again to rummage through his mind. It was worse than the physical torture.

Kylo Ren's black gloved hand stretched out, nearly touching his face. Poe flinched away and tried his hardest to shut down his mind or just think of stupid crap like that horrible holodrama Ello was addicted to and that Poe had seen far more of than he really wanted to..

Even though it was useless, Poe couldn't help but try to fight against his restraints to push Ren's hand away. Then suddenly his arms were free. He pushed that masked bastard away from him, before launching himself out of the interrogation chair and on top of Ren.

He heard BB-8 squealing in terror and Rey's voice screaming his name. Had the First Order captured them as well?

He felt hands trying to pull him off of Kylo Ren, but he kept shrugging them off trying to get his fingers around that monster's neck.

He felt his body slam back against the the wall, his head bouncing against the hard surface. He opened his eyes and saw chaos in the med center. Medics and med-droids were swarming all over the place. BB-8 was beeping frantically. But Finn was floating serenely in the bacta tank, unaware of any of it.

 _Kriff._

"What did you do to him?" one of the medics demanded angrily from Rey, who was sprawled on the floor in front of the bacta tank.

She stared at Poe, eyes wide in something akin to shock with red finger marks on her neck, her hand outstretched toward him.

"Security is on the way," another medic shouted.

BB-8 bumped into him twittering madly in concern.

"She didn't do anything," Poe tried to say above the uproar.

"Commander!" Their attention focused on him. "Are you okay? What did she do to you?"

"Nothing. I had a nightmare I guess. She must have tried to wake me."

They looked skeptical and cast fearful glances toward Rey. "Are you sure?"

"Let us check you out."

"No. I'm fine," he told them, trying very hard to appear appear unshaken by what had apparently just happened.

One of the med-droids was droning on about his elevated heart rate and sedatives. "Droid, you better get away from me with that hypospray!" he said heatedly. He was already angry with himself at his loss of control. He had no desire to add drugs to that mix.

BB-8 got between him and the med-droid, beeping angrily.

Poe levered himself up and stood. "I'm fine. Just a nightmare. Go about you business," he told them in his sternest command voice.

They eyed him in concern, but set about righting the furniture and equipment that had gotten knocked over in the scuffle. They completely ignored Rey.

He walked over to Rey who was still laying there shocked on the floor. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I'm okay."

He held a hand out to her. After a moment she grasped it and he pulled her to her feet. He reached out and gently touched the red marks on her neck, "Are you sure? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I'm fine." She gave him that look that made him feel like she was seeing straight into him. "He was in your head too, wasn't he?"

Poe gave her a sharp look. "Let's go for a walk." He had no desire to discuss that surrounded by an audience.

"Excellent idea, Commander Dameron." They turned to see Doctor Kalonia standing there in her robe, having been apparently roused by the commotion. "You two could use a break before you become patients yourself."

"I'm sorry, Doc," Poe told her. "It was just a nightmare."

"I think it was a little more than that. I can give you something to-"

"No," he cut her off. "I'll be fine."

"Commander-"

"Come on, Rey. BB-8 will watch over Finn. Let's get some air."

* * *

Poe led her out of the building and out toward the tarmac where the prepped x-wings were parked.

"They're afraid of me, aren't they?" Rey asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "It's nothing personal. Force users can make people nervous."

"Do I make you nervous?"

"A little. The way you look at me sometimes, it's like you can see into my soul. It's a little unnerving."

They had been walking rather fast and had nearly reached his x-wing. She reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him. "I would never do that to you, Poe. I'm not like him."

He turned to face her and his tense expression eased a little as he smiled at her. "I know, Rey. I trust you."

In that moment, she knew he did and it meant more to her than she had expected. She studied him for a moment. At some point he seemed to have showered and changed into brown fatigues. He hadn't shaved though and the dark stubble seemed to make the shadows under his eyes look even more pronounced in the moonlight.

"There you go again, staring into my soul. What's so interesting in there?"

"You're a kind man, Poe. I haven't known many people like that."

He looked more than a little embarrassed. "I tried to strangle you. That wasn't very kind." He started climbing up the ladder of his x-wing and she followed behind him and sat next to him on the wing.

"You were having a nightmare when I came into the med center," she told him. "I tried to wake you up."

She sees him wince as he looks away from her out toward the horizon. "Yes."

"You thought I was him when you were dreaming."

"I'm sorry, Rey. I-"

"No, I understand. I have those dreams. He was in my head too. He used my feelings against me. He tried to rip them for my mind. It was like..." She trailed off unable to find the right words to describe the experience.

"Mind rape," he said barely audibly.

"Yes. Exactly."

They sat in silence for a while staring at the pre-dawn sky, both unsure of what to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Poe asked quietly.

"No, not really." That was really the last thing she wanted to do. She still didn't want to face those feelings he tore out from her. But she was comforted by the fact that at least Poe understood what she had gone through. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He gave a dark laugh. "No. I'd like to get really, really drunk."

"Does that help?" she asked curiously. She had never been intoxicated herself, but she had occasionally seen some beings at Niima Outpost who preferred a portion of alcohol to food.

"Eh, not really," he sighed heavily, raking his hands through his hair. "Not in the long run but sometimes it feels really good to forget for a bit."

"What does it feel like?"

"Forgetting?" He looked at her in confusion.

"Being drunk."

"You've never been drunk?"

"I've never really had the opportunity. Food was always more important to me than alcohol."

"Booze is not exactly essential for survival. But it sure feels good sometimes." Poe grinned suddenly and laughed. "Oh, we are going to have so much fun." He nudged her with his shoulder. "I am going to corrupt you with decadent food and fine liquor. I am going to teach you how to live it up." A though struck him and frowned for a moment. "How old are you anyway?"

She shrugged. "Around twenty as far as I can guess."

"Old enough then," he grinned again and she couldn't help but smile back. His excitement was infectious. "When we get moved and settled down we are going to go out and have a good time."

"Out where?"

"A tapcafe or cantina. Some hole in the wall with weird food, bartenders that pour heavy, and a good band."

She had never been to any sort of place like that, so she told him."Tell me about your favorite place." She just watched and listened to him as he described his favorite bar on some planet she'd never even heard of, but that he said he always tried to visit when he was in that sector. She urged him on as listened to stories of him in what he called his 'foolish youth' and the trouble he got into during his Academy days.

She had never met anyone who enjoyed living so much.

"Let me tell you about this one time General Antilles set us up against Luke Skywalker. We-"

"You actually met Luke Skywalker?" she interrupted. "I used to think he was a myth."

"Oh, no. He's real enough. He's a hell of a pilot too, let me tell you. He came by the Academy one time to visit General Antilles and they decided to show us young arrogant pilots how Rogue Squadron used to do things. I'll never forget, I lasted maybe thirty seconds against Skywalker. We went like this, he went like that. I said to my wingman, Drex, 'Where'd he go?' Drex says, 'Where'd who go?' And then we were dead. It did make my ego feel a little better that it was a Jedi Master vaping me so quickly."

Rey grinned. "That sounds amazing! You're so lucky to be able to go to flight school and actually be able to do what you love." She stroked the metal of the wing they were sitting on. "Will you let me fly your x-wing?"

"No," Poe said very quickly and she frowned in disappointment. "But," he continued. "Once we get the base moved, I'll take you up in the trainer and get you checked out. Then maybe." He smiled. "X-wings aren't souped up smuggling freighters, but they may be your thing too. We can always use good starfighter pilots."

"Do you think General Organa will let me do that?"

"If you show talent for it and that's what you want to do, I don't see why not. The General is very supportive of her people."

Rey looked out at the other x-wings on the tarmac, Poe's was painted black and orange and the rest were grey and blue."Why is your x-wing painted a different color from the rest?"

"Because he thinks he's Baron kriffin' Fel that's why," said a voice from behind them.

They looked over their shoulders and Snap Wexley was walking toward the x-wing. "General's looking for you, Poe."

Snap offered Rey a hand down which she flatly ignored and jumped down herself. Poe took his hand instead. "Thanks, buddy." Snap scowled and Poe grinned and gave him a friendly wack on the shoulder. "Rey, this is Snap Wexley. He's a member of Blue Squadron."

"Nice to meet you, Rey." Snap held out his hand and she shook it after a moments hesitation. She needed to get in the habit of shaking hands as a greeting. That seemed the custom among the Resistance.

Rey turned back to Poe. "I'm going to go and check on Finn if they'll let me see him."

"Go by the commissary first," he told her. "They should be serving breakfast now."

"Okay."

Poe and Snap watched her walk quickly across the tarmac."She's kinda cute," Snap observed casually.

"She's too young for you," Poe warned. He couldn't tell if his friend was just messing him or not.

"She's too young for you too."

"I'm not interested."

"Good." Snap clapped him on the back affectionately. "Because I don't think the General would take kindly to it. That girl's got Jedi in her."

Poe sighed. He almost wished for Rey's sake that she wasn't strong in the Force. It was a much harder life than that of a mere starfighter pilot. "Do me a favor, Snap, and make sure she gets breakfast. I don't think she understands how the commissary works, Jedi or not."

TBC

(Yes, I totally stole a couple of lines from Top Gun)


End file.
